Copper Curmudgeon ~ By, Mike Shevlin

Springtime in the Foothills . . .

This is the time of the year when the foothills benefit from all the rain we have gotten this winter and the hillsides are covered with green grasses with a carpet of colorful wild flowers. It’s a photo op for anyone when the waterfalls run streaming down the hillsides. Of course there are those that suffer from allergies and pop Claritin like M&Ms . . . so there’s that side of it too.

But the other aspect of living in the foothills hills is watching all the newborn baby animals this time of year. My wife moved from the city after providing foster care for sixteen years and quickly learned what the country was all about then started taking in animals . . . you know the ones everyone “needs”, goats, chickens, turkeys, dogs, cats, rabbits, guinea pigs, hamsters, cockatiels, ducks what did I miss? Oh yeah an aviary full of doves and quail and an aquarium of fish . . . lots of fish.

Now I come from a family of outdoor people that lived by fishing and hunting. So my jokes about roasted goats and BBQed quail seem to escape my wife’s sense of humor . . . probably because she realizes her sick husband is about half serious as he gazes at the aviary of quail licking my lips and saying over and over . . . a simple orange glaze or a chardonnay crust . . . ? And she just screams, “Get away from my birdies!!!”

So after all my kidding about eating her pets . . . the locals have decided to eat them for real . . . you know the ones . . . my neighbors that have a taste for raw flesh of newborn baby goats or that juicy chicken or turkey running free in the upper pasture.

Now this is not some backwoods inbred group of forest folks . . . although I think we have those here . . . nope this is Mr. & Mrs. Fox, a bunch of coyotes, a few raccoons and a huge owl that lives over in Saddle Creek somewhere . . .

The two fox’s diet includes any and all of her chickens and the ducks would be gone if not for our two Golden Retrievers. Two weeks ago the dogs were barking up a storm out front at 2am so I did what I normally do and yelled;

“S H U T – U P ! ! ! “ Only to find out they were earning their Kibble & Bits by keeping a raccoon treed near the duck cage . . . that made me feel stupid. Not sure the male Goldie has forgiven me yet . . .  

Now those that know me realize my stance on cats . . . I am perfectly OK with the owl thinking they are the other white meat. My wife wants me to shoot the owl . . . I remind her the neighbors would call the Sheriff if I go banging away in the middle of the night with my 12 gauge and tracer rounds plus the Game Warden would have a problem with killing an owl.

So here we sit . . . I can’t eat anything she loves or keeps here that I happen to pay the feed store a lot of money to feed . . . but every wild animal in Copper knows where the smorgasbord is at our house after dark . . .

So again I ponder . . . a simple orange glaze or a chardonnay crust . . . ?

I know . . . just sit here and be quiet . . .