So you’ve decided to move to the country where the Fourth of
July weekend, by default, somehow becomes a yearly family reunion weekend.
We would all like to think that we come from reasonably
stable, intelligent, and normal families…. we are in denial. It only takes the
annual Fourth of July family reunion to remind us that our roots may be a bit
more fabricated throughout the year than we would like to admit.
First there is the Uncle Hen. Odd, I know, but it was
shortened from Henry, as if Henry is not short enough. Uncle Hen plays the
fiddle causing some strange stirring in your mother to dance. Evidently dancing
alone is not permitted so Uncle Carl joins in. The same Uncle Carl who for some
reason can never seem to find a shirt to cover his gray haired sun burned
chest. He did however manage to keep one strap of his overalls on. One must be
thankful for the small things.
We can’t forget Marge; who she’s related to I can’t recall.
Marge for the last millennium has sported a bouffant beehive hairstyle
reminiscent of the leaning tower of Pisa. No one has the where with all to
inform her that this hairstyle may be slightly out of date or that the kids
have been putting rolly polly’s in her “nest.” Let’s throw in, for good
measure, the cousins: the ones that pick their noses, the ones that beat you up
and the ones that cause you to question their sanity, don’t forget to throw in
the cowboy, the gang banger, and the nerd.
Add in the alcohol and the high sugar sodas and its
pandemonium! Absolutely hilarious, fun loving, familial pandemonium. The kids
run with sticks, the parents laugh uncontrollably, and the fiddle music calls
to all the dogs in the area creating a backup cacophony of canine singers. As
the evening wears down and the sun begins to fade, the fireworks come out. With
the onset of fireworks comes a whole new family adventure. The incontinent
family dog, the screaming frightened infant and the accompaniment of Uncle
Carl’s flatulence to each new explosive blast.
You may need to look around more than once at the people
that have joined you for this family reunion before you can admit, even
privately, that you do indeed share the same genetic makeup as the majority of
the folks that surround you. Your family.
What more could one wish for on a beautiful Fourth of July.
Wishing all a happy Fourth of July!
Until next time…welcome to the country.
