Ok, I’d like to speak to the ladies for a little bit. Men, skip down to the next paragraph. Did you skip? No, don’t keep reading here, just go to the next paragraph. It’s the next section of writing. Down there. Go. Please. Shoo. Are the men gone? Ok, good. Ladies, you’ve all been there. Or at least a good amount of you have been there. You know how it is. You see the hunky guy, he’s handsome, and though he’s seriously lacking in some areas, he’s still so gorgeous you want to date him. Your friends are jealous of you, and when you walk down the street, other women turn and say, “Wow, what a hunk!” You can admit it, sometimes you date a guy just because he’s well, pretty.
Hi guys. Thanks for skipping down to this bit. I wanted to talk to you privately, and while the ladies are busy with that section up there, I have a few minutes with you. Now is the time to come clean. You have been on a date with a woman before, not because you were interested in her personality, but maybe for her cooking, her prettier friend, or even her family’s hunting cabin. For whatever reason, you were not interested in this lady in the slightest, but she showed up and you let her hang around, because hey, no harm done, right? You let her tell everyone you’re together, she does what you tell her just to be near you, and you sometimes forget her name.
Now, everyone can read this. I was in a similar relationship. With a fat white horse. But you see, he was pretty. Tall, muscular, and handsome. Friends would come and stand in awe of his beauty. A huge white horse, just like in the fairy tales, with a long mane and tail, with gentle eyes and a soft spot for candy canes. Visitors to the barn would gasp and say, “Wow, what a handsome guy!” I’d show photos of him to people, and they would genuinely be interested in him, asking all about my horse. Children would ask in an innocent way, “Can I have him?” I basked in the adoration and glory of my horse’s beauty.
