A Mother and Daughter Turn Tragedy into Hope For Others

On January 19, 2001 Kim’s life as she knew it had changed forever. On that day her son Ron Wayne, known as Junior, took his life.

Though Junior’s life had been somewhat difficult due to his undiagnosed ADHD, he was still loved by all that met him and a “charismatic charmer.” When he had his difficult times many would tell Kim to ‘be tougher on him, give him more structure’ “but anyone with a child with ADHD knows that discipline that works with ‘normal’ kids does not work with a child dealing with ADHD.” Instead Kim learned that unconditional love worked best.

 Junior’s younger sister Amber never thought of her brother as different. She idolized him. She remembers when he would give her a gift he would be so excited to give it to her that he would take it from her to show her how it worked, and in his excitement almost always would break the gift. She didn’t get angry, that “was just my brother” she said, “besides I got caught up in his excitement” of gift giving too.

Amber said on that January day, “I not only lost my brother, I lost my mother too.”

After seeking out any group that could help Kim deal with the loss, her daughter brought to her attention that Calaveras County was forming a committee for just such a thing. Kim attended the first meeting where her suggestion of their motto be “Live on.”

Since then “Live On!” has become Kim and Amber’s own personal pursuit. Their goal? To raise awareness and offer support.

Amber is certified in QPR which allows her to give seminars and presentations to interested groups wanting to learn how to be the eyes and ears of the public. QPR stands for Question, Persuade, and Refer -- 3 simple steps that anyone can learn to help save a life from suicide. Just as people trained in CPR and the Heimlich Maneuver help save thousands of lives each year, people trained in QPR learn how to recognize the warning signs of a suicide crisis and how to question, persuade, and refer someone to help.  Amber stresses the importance of the course for a community as a whole. The course “just puts more people out there trained to recognize the signs and know the appropriate actions to take.” The classes “don’t make each individual responsible for saving lives” it just puts more people out in society that are aware yet won’t judge. Amber has taught over 300 such classes.

According to Amber the national average for suicide is 8 out of every 100,000, yet Calaveras County is double the National average.

Dealing with the loss of someone from suicide carries with it a negative social stigma, but Amber is quick to point out, “it is not a reflection on you nor is it your fault” and seeks to “break the stigma” by addressing the needs of the “survivors of suicide.” When a loved one takes their own life, “it doesn’t mean they wanted to die…just that..they didn’t know how to live..to deal with the pain.”

“We can’t save everyone, but if by talking about it saves one, it’s well worth it.” Said Kim.

Ron Wayne...known as Junior, 1999

There are many avenues with which to reach out for support within Calaveras County:

Live On! On Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000072299010

Live-on@live.com, Amber 623-8024, Kim 559-6648

Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-499-3030

Friends for Survival, meets the second Tuesday of the month at the San Andreas Senior Center from 6:00 pm to 7:30 pm.

Live On! Is a 501 (c)3. If you would like to help, donations can be made to:

Live On

Post Office Box 338, Mountain Ranch, CA  95246

Live On! Is currently looking for committee members and idea people. “We want to give back to the community while raising awareness…we need the community’s input and ideas.” If interested contact either Amber or Kim at the above listed phone numbers.

By, Charity Maness