About Online Bill Pay . . .
By the Copper Curmudgeon
I'm fascinated with our new
technology and maybe a little terrified that we have the opportunity to conduct
our personal business online. Yesterday my young daughter in the bay area sent
me a text message while I'm on the road . . . she tells me she needs gas money
so I open the IPhone app for my bank and in seconds transfer money from my
account to hers so that her ATM card now has funds to purchase gas for the car
ninety miles away.
Somehow . . . this has left the
child with the idea that she does not need to plan ahead because dad is only a
text message away from taking care of her problems. Hopefully life at college
this next year will help her plan for these situations . . . who am I kidding
right?
So now we have my mother living
with us since dad passed away this last February. Her understanding of the
internet is really quite amazing for a lady of 80 years . . . she has no use
for it. So . . . that said she prefers that I handle any of the situations that
require any type of bill paying for her online. I think this is where my
daughter gets this same helpless attitude?
Today we paid some of mom's final
bills to utility companies down in the bay area. Our calls were on speaker
phone and we were "talking" to computers not people.
The water bill;
Me: Dialing the number.
Computer:
Thank you for calling bill pay please press one for English or pulse dos, si desea
que esta conversación en español
. . .
Me: I press one . . .
Computer: Please enter the
account number you are calling about.
Me: I dial in mom's
account number.
Computer: The account
number you have entered is 123-456-789-A-321 if this is correct press one.
Me: I comply and press
one.
Computer: Please verify
the last four numbers of your social security number.
Me: I enter mom's last
four numbers of her social security number.
Computer: I'm sorry the number
you have entered is not the number we have on file for this account . . .
please re-enter the correct last four numbers of the social security number for
this account . . .
Mom: Let's just send them
a check in the mail it's always worked before . . .
Me: Not a chance I have
this under control it has to be dad's social security number so I enter the
last four of his number . . .
Computer: The numbers your
have entered are 1234 . . . if this is correct press one.
Me: I press one (And
scream profanities that makes mom leave the room)
Computer: The house number
I have for this account is 1234 Maple Street . . . if this is correct press one
. . .
Me: I press one ( I have
now been on this call for six minutes) (More profanity)
Mom: JUST MAIL THEM A
CHECK I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS!
Me: Shut up mom this is
how it's done now . . .
Computer: I'm sorry I did
not hear your last entry . . .
Me: You can't hear anything your bleeping stupid computer!!!
Me: I press one about
seven times . . .
Computer: I'm sorry I did
not hear your last entry . . . goodbye . . . click.
Me: DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME . . . YOU %**#@&&& COMPUTER!!!!
Twelve minutes on this
call and the computer hangs up on me.
Me: Mom . . . get your
checkbook . . . we are going to the post office . . .
Mom: I told you so . . .
you maybe 60 but you're still my stubborn little boy.
My IPhone beeps that I
have a text message . . . it's my daughter again. It reads, "Thanks for
the money in my account dad . . . I think it's very cool that an old guy like
you has figured out how to make this happen on your IPhone . . . most people
your age don't have the patience for these new ideas and I really like the way
you take care of me. . . love you.
Me: I dial bill pay again
. . .
I know . . . just sit here
and be quiet . . .
By, Mike S.