Welcome to the Country
So you’ve decided to move to the country where banding may not have quite the definition you thought it had…
So , if you’re not from the country you may think of banding as a group of friends getting together or a gathering of like minded people. However, if you live in the country it has a different meaning altogether.
Around Spring time each year when the hills turn a brilliant green and the wild flowers are bursting from their bulbs, we see lots of new little kids born. Not the bipedal kind, no, I’m talkin’ about the quadrupeds, the ones that prance around the field like the mythological little satyr…minus the flute..and the human form on top...and the fingers… I digress…
The little kids are living blissfully oblivious to anything other than the next blade of grass and their next sip of mothers warm milk, surrounded by their brothers and sisters (who also happen to be their cousins, Aunts and Uncles, it is after all the country) and most certainly unaware that a word such as banding exists.
Enter the emasculator. Yes, you read right. And as the name implies, that is its sole purpose in life. To turn little boys kids in to little ‘it’ kids, better known as wethers.
If you’re a man and you are reading this, I’d imagine your legs are crossed or you have emitted some sort of primal groan, if you’re a woman, you simply want to read on. So this nifty little tool stretches a thick rubber band just big enough to fit a ping pong ball through and ….well you can figure out the rest. Instant ‘it’!
So the next time you find yourself at a cocktail party, be sure to tell all your friends about the new word you had learned when visiting the country, you’ll be the bell of the ball…..
Until next time…welcome to the country.
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